I've always been a very responsible person. Even as a young child I was a very responsible person. I did what I was told and what was expected of me by my parents. With my friends in high school, college and after college, I was always the designated driver because I was responsible enough not to drink so that everyone got home safely. At work, I'm the one that has the instincts and forethought to make sure everything is done the way it needs to be done. And because I'm the responsible one and people know this, it is expected that I will be responsible. I am so responsible that I'm in a dead end job and I come to work everyday and give it 100% (ok maybe 80%). Do you know how tiring it is to be physically and mentally stuck in a place with no possibility of advancement and no way out?!?!?!
On Saturday I worked a museum event and I was on my feet for almost 5 hours and I did manual labor. I restocked the beer and wine; I refilled the water pitchers; I moved tables and chairs. And it felt good - to actually work - to actually use my mind and body to earn my money - instead of sitting at desk all day and staring at a computer screen or talking on the phone.
A few years ago I was up against the wall with nowhere to go and I decided to pursue a teaching career. I studied and took the Praxis and I passed the test. I applied for the Non-traditional Teacher License program and on the same day, the director of the museum resigned and I was appointed interim director. I had a lot of internal conversations with myself and external conversations with my husband and my close friends about moving forward with the teaching thing or staying at the museum. I decided to stay at the museum because it was more money and an opportunity to hone my director skills.
During the 10 months that I was interim director, I thought a lot about what I would want to do if I didn't work for a museum. Museum work is very specialized and there isn't much turn over - especially at my level. So to get out I would need to be creative. I dreamed of having a small retail store. I had dreamed for many years of taking over a small dance supply store where I used to work, but the business closed before I was in a position to explore that option. I love dance and I love to be around dancers. But I also love yarn and love to be around yarn. Maybe a yarn shop?!?!?!
So my question is -- is quitting my stable, well-paying job to follow my dream and own a yarn shop irresponsible???
I have a husband and a small child and this decision would involve a change in the way we live. I would have to draw a salary from the shop (no matter what I sold) because we have to have 2 salaries. So I realize that I would bring home less and my hours would no longer be office hours (although I'm at the museum at least one Saturday every 7 weeks and we have lots of nights and evening events). I know the committment is more than just the hours that the shop is open but as a responsible person, is this what I'm looking for??? Something to call my own and be responsible for??? I want to love what I do everyday. I want to get up in the morning and be excited to go to work. I want to be passionate about what I do. I want to be creative.